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Real Deal

by Elaine Romanelli

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1.
The leaves are off the trees Empty branches point to an early freeze The warmth they strain to touch Won’t come ‘til spring I feel the same inside; cold and yearning with a pale, scarred hide the salt you pour each day has left its sting So I’ll go away I may cry, but I’m keeping you at bay I may get lonely and lost but this has too high a cost and I can’t stay If you come, I’ll turn you down I know I’ll miss you But I can’t have you around The flame you light in me leaks toxic fumes You poison as you charm You entrap me, when you hold me in your arms You would bind my lips Like secrets in locked rooms So I’ll go away I may cry, but I’m keeping you at bay I may get lonely and lost but this has too high a cost and I can’t stay You enthrall me with your touch And our bodies align with such ease I think I’ll always want you this much But I can’t stay This is crushing me The leaves will bloom someday They won’t stay barren No matter what you say They will bud with fragrant petals everywhere I’ll survive without you near It may be rocky But I can find my way from here I will rise and stretch new wings into the air So I’ll go away I may cry, but I’m keeping you at bay I may get lonely and lost but this has too high a cost and I can’t stay Yeah I’ll go today I may cry, but I’m keeping you at bay I may get lonely and lost but this has too high a cost You think I’m not strong but I’ll be proving you wrong I think I’ll flourish without All your judgment and doubt In my way I’m gone today
2.
Lament 03:32
He's been gone for eight months now In a place I cannot name I don't sleep much through the night But I lay down just the same Worry lays beside me Fills my aching head Whispers her deceptions Offers me her dread Please don’t teach me what it really means to cry Cry, cry cry I knew when I met him He was in as a career But now the tours are longer And they happen every year Battered and exhausted He returns worse every time One heart can only take so much Of the view from the front line Please don’t teach him what it really means to cry... He talks very little Of the things that he has seen I talk very little Of my half-life in between How I barely stand it How the fear has left me worn How I scarcely dream now How I turn from God in scorn He’s supposed to come back soon We will head out on the town I will wear my best clothes Pray the chopper sets him down Pray that he can still walk That he still can smile Worry curls around me She will still be here a while Please don’t teach me what it really means to cry....
3.
Stand on the pavement Stare down the dusty trail Wonder how far you could walk til the light fails Stand at the crossroads Stare down the empty streets Wondering which way your head should direct your feet Stand by the hope chest Open the secret drawer Stand with your brass key Stare at the row of locked doors Or stay on the merry-go-round Stay buckled in so you can't leave the ground Cling to that horse til they shut the thing down and go round and around and around Check with your family Check with your horoscope Tie on a flashlight Tie on an extra rope Take a few deep breaths Think through the plans you made Take off the training wheels Try not to be afraid Go for a test run Go home and think some more Go into hiding Curl in a ball on the floor Or stay on the merry-go-round Stay buckled in so you can't leave the ground Cling to that horse til they shut the thing down and go round and around and around Spinning in circles the motion intoxicates Let yourself sink in your seat Moving is better than standing there isn’t it You’re doing something concrete You’re riding a merry-go-round Stay buckled in so you can't leave the ground Cling to that horse even when they shut down and go round and around and around Just stay on the merry-go-round Shut your eyes tight so you can't look around Cling to that horse even when they shut down and go round and around and around...
4.
I want to be beautiful I want to be perfect What deal with the devil Do I have to make And how much will it cost me to finally be beautiful How extreme are the measures I’m willing to take Will I recognize myself once it’s done Will you be enchanted by what a perfect girl I have become Will I learn to hide the old insecurity and doubt When I am transformed Into someone beautiful I know there are trade-offs If I want to be perfect I know that the changes Are for my own sake But how much will be left in When they’re done and I’m beautiful What parts will be real And what parts will be fake And what about the light That shines from within Will it be displaced in time By the perfectness of my new skin Do you think I’ll rise above insecurity and doubt Will I still be kind To people less beautiful Will all my flaws be erased Along with all of the lines on my face Will I be happy as never was possible Before I became beautiful? Beautiful I ache to be beautiful And I yearn to be perfect But I wonder if maybe by now it’s too late ‘Cause I grew up with this face Which never was beautiful So there’s years of old feelings They’d have to replace And what about the light That shines from within Will it be displaced in time By the perfectness of my new skin Do you think I’ll rise above insecurity and doubt Can I be transformed into someone beautiful What if I am already beautiful
5.
You’ve been seducing me for years And each time we meet you dance a little nearer You magnetize me to stay here You are hypnotic like a magic mirror But my doubts swirl around I won’t let this get off the ground I run away So this is not a love song This is not a love song This is not a love song Not today You have your faults, and so do I But yours are catastrophically depressing Yet when I’m with you, we get by I find myself compulsively obsessing What would I sacrifice Is the thrill worth the price Would I feel home at last But this is not a love song This is not a love song... Not so fast And yet I love the light you fling into the sky I love your unsurpassable charm I feel alive as nowhere else in life With you So please don’t twirl me round the floor Do not caress the air around my shoulders Our fit gets harder to ignore Each dance away leaves me a little colder You are like honey wine Intoxicating over time I love every taste I get But this is not a love song... Not yet
6.
Stupid Boy 04:29
It’s a tale you know well I don’t have to tell you There’s a kiss on your lips and your body flies You feel changed You feel liquid You are giddy Then he never calls again And you have no idea why And every time it hurts just like the first time And you swore you were smarter now than this And all you want to listen to are sad songs All you want to hear about are heartbreaking stories You only want to listen to sad songs You only what to talk about your heart breaking slowly Only sad songs It’s a tale with no known happy ending it’s not clear what he thought when he whispered those lines there’s no hint of remorse just the silence go on: call him and ask he may never say why And every time you hate yourself for caring And bitterness encroaches on your mind So all you want to listen to are sad songs... ... you only what to talk about your heart breaking lowly Stupid boy Stupid boy Why’d you woo if you don't want her Stupid girl Stupid girl Why’d you give him the your power We all know you both felt strongly We could see your bodies shaking You weren’t faking when it happened Was the truth of it too much for you to take Don’t read books Don’t write lists Don’t say affirmations Could be something you did But you can’t fix it next time You will fall just as hard for the next one In a pheromonal daze And you may never know why And it will hurt as much as all the last times And you will long for shelter from the grief So go ahead and listen to sad songs... I only want to listen to sad songs I only want to hear about heartbreaking stories I only want to listen to sad songs I only what to talk about my heart breaking slowly Only sad songs
7.
Fly 03:32
She came in all crumpled and deflated She said I think that change is over-rated Life is fine enough this way But I said: for too long, you've been settling for Okay And she said wait and I said why And she said how and I said try You have to close your eyes and take a breath and jump And she said when and I said now She said I'm scared, I don't know how And I said, pack a bag and close the door and jump And fly And she said I need my filing cabinet And all my underwear And I love my kitchen table And it won't fit in there And I said GO and she said stop How 'bout I try a little hop I just can't close my eyes and take a breath and jump I am not like you I am not fearless through and through I can't just pack a bag and close the door and jump And fly She said no thanks. I'm safe I'm comfortable And it's too late anyway And I'd miss my corner coffee shop With its perfect caffe au lait. And I said: Oh, can't you see You've got a worry machine inside your head And its fears weight you down Like a load of lead Try a little weightlessness instead And she said wait and I said why... And she said when and I said now Ahe said I'm scared, I don't know how But I will pack a bag and close the door and jump And fly
8.
Naughty Lola 02:59
like snakes in the bathtub constant distraction insistent impulse yearning for action magnets to metal instant attraction craving an involuntary contraction whisper on skin feel the burning begin mmm sweet salty sin let your body give in mmm naughty Lola like chocolate or whiskey dip just your finger run if you want to but a tingle will linger savory spices sharp satisfaction biting your tongue at the spreading reaction whisper on skin feel the burning begin mmm sweet salty sin let your body give in mmm naughty Lola
9.
Unapologetic 02:55
You don’t like my red hair You don’t like my legs bare You can’t stand my T-shirts You sneer at my thrift skirts I show off too much thigh My makeup makes you cry According to you there’s something wrong with everything I put on But I am unapologetic I like how I look and I don’t regret it It is your loss if you don’t get it So take your reprobation And walk it ‘cross the county line You’re sure my ambition Won’t come to fruition 'Cause I went to the wrong schools I live by insane rules You laugh at my paycheck you call me a train wreck According to you, something’s awry with everything that I try But I am unapologetic Like how I live and I don’t regret it It is your loss if you don’t get it So take your condemnation And walk it ‘cross the county line I swallowed what you said Your poison’s in my head You taunt me when I sleep Your hooks are buried deep I’d hate you But I realize better to sympathize You must be this broken ‘cause your dreams died unwoken Lord, it must be painful to see somebody living as they please And oh, it ain’t you It’s not you You worry about my soul My swearing takes its toll If don’t go to church more Lord knows what I’m in for Your idea of heaven is that my kind can’t get in According to you I’m totally damned for everything that I am But I am unapologetic I like who I am and I don’t regret it It is your loss if you don’t get it So take your condemnation and walk it cross that line ‘cause I am unapologetic I’ll be damned if I regret it It is your loss if you don’t get it So take your condemnation and shove it where the sun don’t shine
10.
3,000 Miles 03:54
Waking to a gentle breeze Rolling in your rumpled linens Kissing through the afternoon Or lounging cradled in your arms With coffee and the crossword puzzle Humming to a bluesy tune I’m three thousand miles From you I miss walking in the neighborhood Trading all our daily stories Basking under a sky so blue Or shopping at the corner store Then puttering around the kitchen Simmering a homemade stew I’m three thousand miles From you You are effortless deliciousness Redolent of soap and sand You unravel all my ancient riddles Open them beneath your hands Your hands on my skin our breathing the scent of two Now I’m waking to a car alarm Weaving in and out of strangers Sprinting for the three or two I’m always in a hurry here Eating standing in the hallway Feeling empty through and through I’m three thousand miles From you
11.
Weep Not 01:40
Weep not Weep not for me I am reading by the light With a half-writ limerick in my lap Weep not for me Weep not Weep not for me I am talking with old friends There’s a lot of lost-lost faces here They are coming for tea I’m finally free of pain and sorrow So rise and dream about tomorrow Write a funny rhyme for me Tell a charming tale of me Weep not Weep not Weep not for me
12.
Real Deal 03:14
Now it’s official and your finger sports a little band suspiciously like mine I think it makes your eyes shine brighter Just a little Now we’re together so it’s easier for us to show it wasn’t just for now nobody took a vow for practice it’s the real deal Now we’re united all the papers filed at City Hall commit us to a link that’s harder than you’d think to sever if we change our minds Your mother smiles and cries My brother rolls his eyes Everyone says this is such a momentous occasion But you know and I know It felt like this long ago Now all our friends have come to wish us well to share in some libations and some laughs to take some photographs for later for remembering Now we can celebrate relax a bit, sit down, relate some stories from before what you said and wore the first time that I knew I knew. Now comes the hardest part, apparently the heart-to-heart discussions in the night some compromises, fights, and lonely days it’s a lot of work Your friend says, “don’t get mad, but some days will be bad. It’s not always easy you’re just at the very beginning.” But you know, and I know we started this long ago Yeah you know and I know it felt like this long ago Oh you know and I know It felt like love long ago.
13.
It has not been a banner day Nothing’s gone even remotely my way I got yelled at by my ex and I spilled coffee in my tea I got out of bed on the wrong side and dislocated my knee Its been like this for so long Seems the only way things go for me is wrong I got stepped on by a stranger I got ripped off by my bank All my batteries corroded, my inflatable raft sank Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink Scotch or beer or whiskey or wine Poor me Poor me Pour me a drink With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine. I’ve tried pleading I’ve tried prayin but my bad luck has no interest in strayin It has roosted in my attic It dug holes across my yard It turned all my cheeses moldy it made all my pillows hard So I’m feeling plenty low I don’t think there’s any further down to go And there’s no friendly voice to cheer me calling on the telephone There’s no lovin arms to hold me I’m here moping all alone Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink Vodka or tequila with lime Poor me poor me pour me a drink With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine. Now don’t worry that I’m blue You’ve got plenty of better things to do I can handle my recovery for I’ve made the great discovery of a stash of cash and open corner booth I’ll be temperate, don’t you fret I will barely let my gullet get wet I’ll just sip refreshing tonics like recovering alcoholics with a tiny splash of bourbon and vermouth Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink Scotch and beer and whiskey or wine... Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink Fill the liquor up to the line With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine

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released May 20, 2010

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Elaine Romanelli New York, New York

Recording Academy member Elaine Romanelli is an award-winning singer/songwriter, composer, writer, actor, and comic performer.

She loves to dance! If you swing dance in NYC you'll run into her eventually.

Affiliations: BMI, EMC, Grammys voter, Maestra, OneLicense.

Learn more:
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