It has not been a banner day
Nothing’s gone even remotely my way
I got yelled at by my ex and I spilled coffee in my tea
I got out of bed on the wrong side
and dislocated my knee

Its been like this for so long
Seems the only way things go for me is wrong
I got stepped on by a stranger
I got ripped off by my bank
All my batteries corroded, my inflatable raft sank

Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink
Scotch or beer or whiskey or wine
Poor me Poor me Pour me a drink
With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine.

I’ve tried pleading I’ve tried prayin
but my bad luck has no interest in strayin
It has roosted in my attic
It dug holes across my yard
It turned all my cheeses moldy
it made all my pillows hard

So I’m feeling plenty low
I don’t think there’s any further down to go
And there’s no friendly voice to cheer me
calling on the telephone
There’s no lovin arms to hold me
I’m here moping all alone


Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink
Vodka or tequila with lime
Poor me poor me pour me a drink
With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine.

Now don’t worry that I’m blue
You’ve got plenty of better things to do
I can handle my recovery
for I’ve made the great discovery
of a stash of cash and open corner booth

I’ll be temperate, don’t you fret
I will barely let my gullet get wet
I’ll just sip refreshing tonics like recovering alcoholics
with a tiny splash of bourbon and vermouth

Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink
Scotch and beer and whiskey or wine...

Poor me. Poor me! Pour me a drink
Fill the liquor up to the line
With just a little tipple I’ll feel fine